Singles,

What are you waiting for?

EDWINA'S USUAL THOUGHTS consumed her.  She had just returned from a wedding ceremony involving her two close friends.  Lying on her small bed in her small apartment, her eyes were fixed on the ceiling.  Still wearing the smart clothes with which she attended the wedding ceremony, she was beginning to feel desperately dejected as she queried no one in particular, not even herself. 

“Will I ever get married?  She thought to herself. 

Every time Edwina is invited to a wedding ceremony, the thought of her single state assails her and sometimes, torments her for days.  But Edwina, 34 is not alone as she typifies the average young woman today who wrestles with the realities and sometimes fears that are associated with their single status.  

Single men are not exempted from this phenomenon either.  Julius is a case in hand.  He cannot help nursing the thoughts about his predicament once in a while.  Thirty-three years of age, Julius a handsome young man who graduated from the University five years ago and living with his friend, but without a job.  He tries consciously to brush aside the reality of the fact that he needs to settle down fast.

Frankly speaking, the single life is one of mixed blessings.  And every single man or woman knows it.  On one hand, you enjoy the freedom of not being “accountable" to anyone in particular, except of course, your parents.  Even this ceases after you attain a certain age or social status in life.  On the other hand, you desire to have a companion with whom you can share your life - your hurts, sorrows, joys and dreams.  You yearn for a true companion with whom you can be truly one.  Make no mistake about it; these desires are very legitimate and normal.

These are the honest feelings of every single man or woman, except of course he or she has that rare gift of celibacy.  But getting Mr. or Miss Right is not so much an issue of a frantic and desperate search, which has characterized the lives of many singles the world over, but much more than that, it is an issue of developing a wholesome approach and attitude towards life in general. 

Every member of the human race must realize that he is not here on planet earth by accident.  God ordained it to be so and He has a personal plan for every life, your life as a single person inclusive.            

In the following pages, I have tried to critically look at the nagging issue of singleness from divine viewpoint.  Why are so many men and women still single today?  How can they manage the real pressures they must face?  What must they do to enjoy this phase of their lives - while it lasts?  How can they cultivate a meaningful and lasting relationship with the opposite sex?

Having been single and now happily married, I can talk quite frankly on how every single can develop a better perception, not only on the issue of singleness, but life generally.

I have written this book with Christian singles in mind, but all single men and women who earnestly desire a purposeful life, and a fruitful and lasting relationship can benefit from it.  This book is intended to be very practical as much as possible, as real life situations will be used to underscore truths.  

My purpose is to think with you as much as possible and not to think for you.  I challenge you therefore to put on your thinking caps as we embark on this journey to discover some fundamental essentials of life and of relationship together. 

I have carefully divided this book into six sections.  The idea is to make for easy and pleasurable reading as much as possible.  Chapter one deals with the issue of Singles and Real Pressures.  Sometimes, understanding the intricacies of any problem does help people to cope effectively. 

Chapter two talks on how every single man or woman can enjoy his or her single life, while it lasts.  Getting married is easier than most people think is the focus of Chapter three.  You do not have to over burden yourself on the issue of marriage.  The bottom line is: there is really no big deal to it.  And that is for real. 

Are there barriers to marriages and weddings?  I honestly think there are and these barriers are the subject matter of Chapters four and five respectively.   Life need not be that stressful and wasteful.  To cap this book up, a catalog of over forty (40) questions singles often ask me are elaborately answered in chapter six.  These questions and answers were originally a different book entirely.  I have decided to add all the questions and answers to this revised version of this book so as to make it more complete. Other issues not dealt with in the original version are also touched

When singles ask questions, one thing is clear, they really want to know.  Their quest for knowledge is often motivated by a desire not to make mistakes in this important issue of marriage.  I guess most of them know that marriage is serious business and "it must not be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully, reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God."

In answering these questions, I have arranged them in four broad categories namely:

Questions relating to relationship between man and woman;

Questions on courtship or engagement;

Questions on wedding and lastly

General questions. 

To make for easy and enjoyable reading, I have fleshed up my answers to the questions with real life examples and illustrations.  I honestly hope that you will enjoy the plan.       

Writing a book that will cut across different cultures and at the same time has a deep spiritual appeal and content, is certainly not an easy job.  And I can honestly tell you that.  Though human nature is the same all the world over, there are situations that are peculiar to certain cultures alone.  In dealing with such situations, efforts will deliberately be made to point out areas where there are such peculiarities.  Though it is difficult to avoid relying on experiences from human behaviour, my main goal is to present in a very simple manner, what I honestly consider to be divine view point on this important subject.

     I place this book in your hand with the prayer that God will use it to meaningfully contribute to your understanding of what the Christian way of life is, and what meaningful and responsible relationships ought to be from the biblical perspective.